Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
