I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
