i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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