i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just blew my weed a kiss
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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