Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
