im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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