I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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