we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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