haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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