my vag is so smooth its legendary
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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