Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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