i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
