Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
