There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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