He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Mom said you looked used
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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