The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
