she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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