did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
