you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
