What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
