she was so not down for the gang bang
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Farmville is her only friend.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
