see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
