You smell like stripper and shame
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
