I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
