So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if only i could text you this smell
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
