I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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