can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
