we're chasing vodka with high fives
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
50% drunk capacity currently
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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