Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize