why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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