I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
