And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
