I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
