Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
