he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
