well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
