Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
