I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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