i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
