I got chris browned last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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