They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
