Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Randomize
