I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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