He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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