Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
