Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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