you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
