Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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