dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
