There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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