Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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