mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
