Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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