Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize