You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
