I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
