No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
