Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
