thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize