theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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