i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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