Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She bit a glass in half.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
