Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize