So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
