you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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