After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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