don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize